It all started when I joined a Facebook group about the campus I'm going into. I was quite happy for a while, since I did have someone else I love. I was satisfied with the thought that I had a partner who also loved me too. It was actually funny, since when I saw 'your' profile on Facebook, I browsed at your pictures and judged at how 'you' look like. "Eh, wala namang itsura 'to." (Eh, this person doesn't really look appealing.) I just brushed off those pics, though I had interest in seeing 'you' in person. Too bad 'you' didn't join that 'eyeball' event. But then again, the gears of fate decided to make 'us' meet in another path...
I don't really recall that much anymore about when it happened, but I think it was around first year, first term? It was an orientation of some sort. I can't recall if it was the math thing, or something else. Whatever. Me and my first friend in campus were sitting together at the end of the AVR room. Since the seats are full, we were forced to sit on the floor, if I recall correctly. Then suddenly, my first friend suddenly shouted something along the lines of: "Oy! Ayun si *bleep* oh!" (Oh look! There's *bleep*!) And I frantically searched for 'your' face out of curiosity. As my first friend called out 'your' name, 'you' turned around and looked for my first friend. Let me pause that for a while and ask you a question. Does anyone believe in love at first sight? You know, I really didn't believe it. I even believed that it was a very stupid thing to believe in. Until this crap happened. The moment 'your' face was recorded on my mind; OH MY GOD. I don't know HOW the fuck it happened, but I was damn head over heels for you. And if I remember correct, I crossed my arm into 'yours'. I was really obvious that time. It was stupid. I denied myself and told everyone that I just had a crush on 'you'. Well, I needed to defend myself from 'you', so of course, I kept on being faithful to my partner.
Everything was fine... until one day. My partner promised me we'd meet up at a mall, and that I'd introduce him to my friends (yes, him, and yes, I'm a homosexual if you didn't know); 'you', the "Big H", and "Nanofate". While we were on the way, he sent me a text, telling me that he couldn't come because it's about to rain. I was so depressed that I broke down and cried while we were at the karaoke place. That's when 'you' comforted me and hugged me. And if I was right, Big H even joked that I cried because I missed her (yes, a strange alias for a girl, deal with it.) I'm not even sure if it was Big H or Nanofate, but that's not the point here. Yeah, I tend to prolong shit because of my senseless yaps like this one. Either ways, that hug 'you' gave me, it made me feel a feeling of attachment. I feel like I should stick around 'you' so that I'd feel better. I don't know, it's almost like I wanted to say "Stay with me, I need you because I'm depressed, and you're the only one who can make me feel better." Moving on to the rest of the story...
After that event, my partner and I were starting to break down. We only see at least once a week, and we always get in a fight. It was clear, that we were drifting apart. It got me scared. Really scared. Thanks to the Big H, I was able to prepare myself for a break up, which is, exactly when I became prepared. It was also ironic, because that day I met my 4th year high school adviser, asking how me and my partner were. Of course, I said we were alright, but it was totally the opposite. He broke up with me the same day. Haha, that was cool, because I was able to keep myself calm for a month. You know, that was really funny. I never did anything like that. After that month though, I broke down and let it all out. 'You' saw how depressed I am, and told me that you're offering yourself as a proxy for my ex. Of course, I said no, because I wanted someone who would really love me, not just act like they do. After a while, 'you' started being sweet on me, and later on became affectionate. I was really happy, but I kept on denying how I feel. Although 'your' actions say so, I was in doubt. Friends kept on telling me left and right that I should contain myself more, or I'll be in trouble, but I just ignored it.
One day, 'we' had a talk. 'You' said the words "Don't fall for me," because 'you' were just being a proxy. It was too late though... too late. I was already deeply in love with 'you.'
This will be the end of the post for now. If anyone ever read this and doesn't finding uninteresting/boring/whatnot, thanks.
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